The Fingers Of One Hand

Josh caught up with Toby outside the White House. "You didn't actually buy the boat, did you?"

"No," Toby smiled. "It was a nice dream though."

"Can you even sail a boat?"

"Sam could have come back and given me lessons."

"Yeah, that would've been good," Josh agreed.

"What you doing now?"

"Going home," Josh replied.

"Okay. I have no plans for the evening."

"Beer, take out and TV?"

"Yeah."

Three hours, and plenty of alcohol, later Josh and Toby were watching the replay of a football game "You were one of them by the way," Josh suddenly said.

"One of what?" Toby asked as he glanced away from the game.

"The people I can trust. You, Donna, CJ - that was it," Josh continued.

"It's longer than that."

"It is?"

"Sam, your mother?"

"I meant at work, but yeah okay, adding Sam makes it longer at least. Adding my mom though, that makes it seem a little sad."

Toby looked back at the TV before saying. "He'll calm down."

"Maybe, but he won't forget. We'll see how Angela does."

Toby glanced back at Josh, "You want her to fail?"

"No." Josh saw Toby's skeptical look. "I don't, honestly. If she fails then we fail. Doesn't mean I've got to like her though."

"Never did before," Toby pointed out.

Josh took another drink of his beer and watched the game. "Who's playing?"

"Haven't got a clue."

"I got offered three jobs today in the private sector."

"That'd please your mother," Toby smiled.

"Yeah, it would," Josh agreed.

"You're not thinking about taking any of them are you?"

"Nice to be offered."

"Are you?" Toby asked again.

"No, they don't get rid of me that easy."

"Good. You leave and they've won."

Josh laughed bitterly, "Yeah and if I stay I get to keep my title and my staff."

"What?"

"It's what Leo told me on Monday, He's slimming out my portfolio, but I get to keep my title and my staff, been bugging me all week that I didn't say 'Gee thanks'." Josh replied angrily. 

Toby smiled slightly, "I was wondering when you'd get angry."

"I got angry on Monday night. You didn't hear about my little rant at the Capitol?"

"You ranted at the Capitol?"

"Yeah, stood in the middle of the street and shouted, which I admit seems a little odd. I think I may have scared Ryan, and Donna when he told her. She's been watching me all week, like she's wondering if she should call Stanley Keyworth."

"No she isn't. She's just looking out for you."

"I know," Josh agreed. "Doesn't help that she's been talking to my mom everyday."

"That's 'cos you haven't."

"Yeah," Josh muttered. "You ever wish Leo had fired you with the rest of the staff?"

"Occasionally," Toby admitted"Why?"

"This is the first time I've wished he'd not asked me to go to New Hampshire. Even after I was shot I didn't regret joining the campaign, but this week.... I.... I don't think.... I've never felt this shit about work before, not ever."

Toby nodded, because really what could he say? Josh had just been told by Leo, the one person he thought he could trust above anyone, that he couldn't do his job anymore, a job that was his life. There was nothing Toby could say to make that feel any better and he knew it. All he could do was make sure Josh knew that he was there for him, no matter what. Though he hoped Josh already knew that. 

Josh smiled, "This is where you're suppose to tell me it'll get better, to keep my chin up, not to let them grind me down."

Toby smiled back, "You want meaningless platitudes?"

"No," Josh laughed.

"What's wrong," Jordan asked, finally giving up on getting any sleep tonight.

"Nothing?"

"Then could you possibly stop tossing and turning?"

"Sorry."

"I may not work in politics, Leo, but I have a TV and I read newspapers - for stories of you obviously," she smiled. "It's Josh isn't it?"

"What's Josh?"

"That's keeping you awake."

"I guess. I'm not exactly his favorite person at the moment."

"He's upset."

"He's not the only one. I trusted him to sort Carrick out and look what happened. And he's upset?" Leo asked.

Jordan sighed. She didn't know Josh particular well, had only met him a few times, but she knew Leo loved him and she suspected that Josh felt the same. What she didn't quite understand was why Leo couldn't see that the reason both him and Josh were upset wasn't just about Carrick, the leadership, the Hill or the administration. But then they were men, so what could you expect.

"You fallen asleep?" Leo asked. 

"Not much chance of that tonight," Jordan muttered. "That's why he's upset, Leo. You trusted him to do a job and he failed, he thinks he let you down."

Leo had hated seeing the look in Josh's eyes the last week. He'd expected anger and resentment, but instead he got hurt and dejection. Josh hadn't shouted at him once. When he told him about Angela, he thought Josh would blow his top, but he just looked upset. While he had no intention of changing his mind about cutting back Josh's responsibilities or about bringing in Angela, maybe he could have shown Josh a little more support privately. But he was disappointed in him. He loved Josh, he knew Josh would walk through fire for him, literally probably, which would be no small feat for Josh.

"I thought you and Josh were close?" Jordan interrupted his thoughts. "You talk about him all the time, if he was a woman I'd be a little jealous," she teased.

"We are close, but I can't let that affect my judgment. What do you think I should have done? Said it was okay because it's Josh, because he's like...... I can't let personal feelings interfere with work."

"But you are. I understand why you have to keep him out of meetings and off the Hill. I do know how Washington works, Leo. But you've shut him out completely haven't you? You didn't wait even a day before you bought in someone to replace him."

"Angela isn't replacing him. He's still my deputy, he's still got his office and his staff. He's kept a lot of his work, he's staffing the president, he's still on the senior staff for God's sake. Why do people keep saying that I've replaced him. First Toby, then CJ, now you?"

"Maybe it feels to Toby and CJ like you have. Look, this is none of my business, it's your work and you're good at it, I know that. I just think you need to examine your motives because you're obviously not happy with what's happened."

"I'm fine with it."

"Then why have you been lying there awake for the last three hours?"

Leo knew the answer to that. He couldn't sleep because, while he might have succeeded in pacifying the leadership, he'd alienated Josh in the process. Not that Josh was lacking support, he'd got Toby for one and Donna. Those two made a formidable team. Josh would be fine, he was tough and he would bounce back, but Leo didn't want to stay at odds with him forever. "Maybe I should talk to him."

"Maybe you should," Jordan agreed. 

"It's a glitch," Josh insisted, as he carried the phone back into the living room. "I'm not leaving. I know you want me to work in a nice cozy nine to five job in the private sector, but I don't want to. I like politics, it's what I'm good at - normally."

"Yes I know. I had to try though, you'd think I was ill if I didn't," his mother smiled.

"You should come up for a visit," Josh impulsively offered.

"I'm an old woman, Josh, it's a long flight," Ruth laughed.

Josh laughed, "Oh please, you're never at home. I'm serious, come and stay for a few days. I'd come down there, but I can't get away."

"Worried they might change the lock on your office?"

"Yeah," Josh grinned.

"Next weekend?"

"Yeah, let me know your flight and I'll meet you at the airport."

"Or Donna will."

"That is possible," Josh agreed with a smile. "I haven't been avoiding you, you know. I have been busy."

"I know."

"There's someone at the door, I've got to go. Call me when you know your flight."

Ruth was no idiot. She knew the reason Josh had invited her to stay was because he felt guilty. He felt guilty that he hadn't called on his birthday and that he'd been avoiding her calls all week. Not that she was going to let that stop her visiting, it'd been too long since she was in Washington.

"It's Sunday afternoon, what's up?" Josh asked.

"I won't disturb you for long. I tried to call earlier," Leo told him.

"I went for a run. What's going on?"

"You think I've been too hard on you?"

"I think you've done what you felt you had to."

"That's not an answer, Josh."

"It's the only answer I've got," Josh replied.

"No it isn't. One thing you're not is short of words and you're certainly never afraid to speak your mind."

"Yeah," Josh agreed, "and look where that got me. Is that all you want because this is my day off and I've got stuff to do."

"We need to sort this out," Leo tried again.

"Or I'll have more days off?"

"You're not going to get fired, Josh. Christ, Angela isn't here to replace you. She's good at what she does, I've worked with her before and I know I can trust her."

"What, she wasn't available in '97?" Josh snapped.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Leo asked. "You're still my deputy."

"Not if I'm not allowed inside I'm not," Josh replied, the anger that had been building all week suddenly broke free. "I don't want a title and a staff, I don't give a damn what you call me. If you're shutting me out of everything, then what's the point?"

"Angela's staying."

"I'd already worked that out."

"She's not taking your job," Leo continued. "I don't know how many ways I can say that. You've been spread thinner and thinner over the last five years and it's time to rethink who does what. Since Sam left you've taken on some of his duties, things Will has no experience in. You need to step back a little."

"Right the way back to my office and stay there," Josh retorted.

"If you're not going to listen, then I may as well go."

"Yeah," Josh agreed, but as Leo reached the door he changed his mind. "No. No you're right, we have to sort this. Let's have a coffee and try again?"

Once they were sat down with their drinks, Josh wondered where to start and Leo wondered what Josh was going to say. 

"Donna bought me a file," Josh began, "she calls it her 'what a shame folder'. It's full of stuff we never got round to doing."

"Like?" Leo asked.

"Special education for disabled kids, foreign adoption, assistance for the long term sick to get back into work. You know, the things we've never had time to do. I think she thinks I need a new direction, or maybe just some work then I'll stop annoying her with stupid questions," a fleeting smile crossed Josh's face. "If I can't have my old responsibilities then I need some new ones. I'm not willing to sit in my office all day taking meetings with schedulers and 'otter preservation trusts'. I need to do real work, Leo, or there's no point in my being there."

"You saying you'd quit?" Leo asked.

"You want me to?"

"No," Leo insisted.

"I had three offers Friday alone. Seems there's people out there who need the services of a political operative who can't keep his mouth shut."

"Contrary to what you might think, I'm one of them. So who are my rivals?"

"Private sector."

"That'd make Ruth happy," Leo commented. He was well aware that Josh's mother would much rather see him safe in the private sector than the target of hate mail and bullets at the White House.

"She's coming up next weekend."

"I should hide then?" Leo smiled.

"That'd probably be a good idea," Josh agreed with a faint smile.

"Josh, if you want to look into some of the things we've not had time for, then okay. But you do still have plenty of work to do."

Josh nodded.

"And you have to find a way to work with Angela."

"Not if we're doing different things I don't."

"Yes you do. The staff see you shunning her and plenty of them are going to do the same. She couldn't care less whether people like her, but I don't want infighting. You're the deputy chief of staff, part of your role is to ensure the staff work well together."

Josh bit back a retort about Angela not being his choice, about how if she was so damn good why did she need him to win the staff over. Instead he said, "Yeah, I'll try."

"Okay. I should go. Say hi to your mom for me," Leo smiled ruefully.

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END
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