A Bad Few Days

"Are you old enough to drink?" Josh asked Ryan.

"I'm 23."

"Okay. You want another then?"

Ryan  shook his head. "We should go home."

"Why?"

"Because it's late and you're very drunk."

"Who made you my probation officer?"

"Donna."

"She could have come herself."

"You've been yelling at her all day, she sent me. Come on. How far is it to your place?"

Josh followed Ryan out of the bar. "Donna knows the way."

"Okay," Ryan sighed. "Just give me your address."

"Pretty bad few days, huh?" Ryan asked as they walked from the cab to Josh's apartment.

"It's that time of year," Josh replied. "Shit always happens to me at this time of year."

"Is that why you don't celebrate your birthday, 'cos it's so close to the anniversary? "

"It's on the anniversary," Josh amended.

Ryan looked a little confused. "Rosslyn was August 7th."

"Yeah it was."

"Then what are you talking about?" 

"Joanie."

"Who?"

"This is my building and you're not coming in. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ryan watched as Josh walked unsteadily up the front steps and into the building. He'd been looking forward to his internship, but the reality wasn't living up to expectation. At first he thought it was a case of 'never meet your heroes because they'll only disappoint'. But as he watched the other staff being berated by Leo, as he noticed their concern and confusion, he began to realize that something was wrong and Leo's attitude was rubbing off on everyone, especially Josh.

The following morning Ryan was sorting through some files when Donna grabbed him and ushered him into a quiet corner. "How was Josh last night?"

"Making no sense."

Donna sighed, "He was drunk then?"

"Very. Who's Joanie?"

"Why?"

"Because, he said shit always happens at this time of year. I though he meant the shooting, I thought he didn't celebrate his birthday because it's so close to the anniversary. But he said it was on the anniversary, the anniversary of Joanie. I don't know what he meant?"

"Okay," Donna replied, stunned by that piece of information. "Thanks. Can you take those files over to the OEOB now?"

"What did he mean?" Ryan persisted.

"Just take the files, and don't go asking about it okay." Donna fixed Ryan with a warning gaze and he nodded and walked off with his files, while she went to find Josh.

"How's your head?" she asked when she walked into Josh's office

"You didn't have to send Ryan to look after me," Josh complained, without bothering to look away from his monitor.

"He wanted to. For some reason he likes you."

"I'm glad someone does."

Donna shut the door and walked over to Josh.

"What?" he asked.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Why you don't celebrate your birthday. If I'd known I wouldn't have let them......."

"I told you, at my seventh....."

"You were really drunk last night you know."

"Donna, I do still have some work to do, I haven't got time for cryptic....."

"Ryan asked me who Joanie was?"

Josh stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "What did I say to him?"

"That your birthday is on the anniversary, you didn't tell him what happened. Josh if I'd known that, I'm sorry."

"Yeah. I don't know why I never told you," he frowned.

"It's okay. You've got senior staff in five, we can talk later."

By 9.30 that evening Josh decided that he probably owed Donna some kind of explanation. In fact he knew he owed her more than that. He owed her an apology for the way he'd been acting the last few days. He had no right to take his bad mood out on her.

Donna glanced toward her boss's office and wondered whether to go and check on him. She wasn't sure she wanted yelling at again though, so she hesitated. The trouble was she knew he was going to get worse before he got better. It was the anniversary of the shooting in three days.

"Donna, have you got a minute?" Josh asked from the doorway, before walking back into the office.

Donna prepared for more confrontation and followed him inside.

"Close the door," Josh told her. "I'm sorry. I've been a complete bastard the last few days."

"Yeah you have," Donna agreed.

"You know I'm only going to get worse."

"Yeah."

"If you want to go work somewhere else........"

"Don't do that. I know you've had a shit few days, but don't start trying to play to my emotions. You say that when you're like this. I don't know why. I don't whether you mean it, whether you're trying to appease me or just push me away. I'm not going anywhere."

"Right. Thanks, I think." He sighed and sat down. "I should have told you. Sam was always here, he stopped anyone doing anything or asking why. But I should have told you, I'm sorry."

"I don't expect you to tell me everything about yourself. Doesn't Leo know?"

"I don't know. I mean he knows about Joanie, he knows about the fire. I assumed my dad would have told him everything, but I don't know."

Donna sat in one of the spare chairs. "She died on your birthday?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah. My mom and dad had gone out for a couple of hours. The popcorn maker was one of my presents, it was from someone my dad worked with. We decided to try it out."

"God," was all Donna could think to say. How did a family move on from that? How did a nine year old boy? No wonder he hated his birthday. "Let's go home."

"I've stuff to do. Leo wants......."

"Leave it. It'll still be here tomorrow. Stop trying to kill yourself to get back into Leo's good books. He's been like this with everyone lately you know, it's not just you."

"I know. But if I can help him......."

"You can't help him if you're ill. Leo's an adult, you need to look after yourself not him. I'm taking you home and we're going to order takeout because you need to eat."

Part of Josh desperately wanted to stay. He knew Leo was still here and he wanted to wait, just in case Leo needed him. But Leo hasn't needed him for days now, in fact Leo had done nothing but glare and yell at him since his birthday. So he stood up, collected his jacket and backpack and turned off the desk lamp.

Donna smiled. "Chinese?"

"Yeah."

As Donna and Josh walked out of the building Leo stood and watched. He wasn't sure what was going on anymore. He'd managed to alienate all the senior staff, and he wasn't sure why or how. Maybe he shouldn't have made CJ write that memo, perhaps he should have fought harder to keep Will. He knew he should be listening to Toby, because they were drifting. Maybe he shouldn't have let Josh meet with Carrick. But he sure as hell should have remembered why Josh didn't celebrate his birthday. How in God's name had he forgotten that?

And while Leo watched Josh and Donna, Margaret watched him. She was scared. She was scared he was letting everything slip away. She was scared he was alienating everyone in a vain attempt to protect the president from God knows what. But most of all she was scared because he had started smoking again and the next step after that was drink. The way he was at the moment, if he started drinking again she wasn't sure he could ever stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
END